Right before we found out I was expecting Talan I got a huge promotion with big pay check attached. We decided we should go ahead and buy a house. We found a place that we loved and even put in an offer but after sitting down and really crunching the numbers we realized I would have to keep working full time in order to afford the house and I knew I wouldn't be able to do that after having the baby, so at the last second we pulled out.
Ever since that time I have been extremely jealous of everyone that has a house. I watch HGTV all day long and imagine I'm the one house hunting with the endless budget, I search the web for houses in my area and go to Open houses, it's almost been an obsession with me. I want a house so so so so so badly and I've been pretty bitter about it at times when I look around my small apartment with no yard to play in with the kids.
Then right after Thanksgiving I was looking at a friend's Facebook account of the pictures she posted of Thanksgiving. She had hosted it in her beautiful brand new house with a formal dining room and stainless steel appliances. The pictures of her home were bringing all my jealously and bitter feelings to the surface, but then something struck me with great power... there were no children in the pictures. My friend has a great big house and lots of luxeries, but she has also been married several years more than me and still doesn't have children, which I know she really wants but they just don't feel they can afford them now since she has the better job of the two. Would I really trade my children for the pretty house?? Never!
Then I began thinking about other friends and the other young families in our ward. Many of them have both parents working while the children are in daycare or with grandma. While thinking about this I looked at my two little boys that I am blessed enough to be with 100% of the time. I do still have to work remember, but I was able to find a job that I can do from home while my children sleep or play at my feet. I can't stand my job, but at the same time I love it because it keeps me with my children, which is the most important thing to me.
So I've decided that I can stay in this tiny apartment, as long as it is filled with the three boys that mean the world to me. It's ok that we don't have the big house with the big yard because I'm in the best place for me and my family.
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5 comments:
You just totally made me cry! You are so dead on. I would take my family over all the pretty things in the world (and I've had a lot of pretty things) Having to make the "Sacrifice" of living smaller has made me really appreciate my family more and I realize now that things were just...things. They could never replace my kids. When all is gone my family is forever and the house, furniture, all of that stuff will still be here collecting dust and NO ONE will care who owned it. :)
What a good post for this holiday season! It's true, you have to give up a lot to have a family. But it is such a blessing to be able to be home with my son, I wouldn't trade that for anything!
I agree very much! Chris and I made our family motto, "The most important things in life, aren't things." We love this and believe it to be very true.
Like you said, "things" can come and go, but our families are eternal.
I had also felt the same way! At least you have hope of getting a house in the future because Andy's still in school and will be making more money sometime soon. We're just stuck in an apartment forever. Plus, you have a great husband who is keeping his covenants, so you have hope that your family will be together forever. You are indeed lucky! Now, can you help me count my blessings and get rid of my bitter feelings? Help!
I like your perspective! Sometimes I feel sorry for myself because I don't have this or that, but when it really comes down to it,what is more important than a loving,happy family? We should all count our blessings!
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